<A Buddhist Atheist>
郭 乘 燦, Kwak Suengchan
1.
I'm an atheist.
A professed atheist.
2.
My family members are buddhist. We don't exactly know who started to believe buddhismat first, but our family was one of the most prominent family in Goryeo dynasty, when buddhism was the official 'religion' of the country, So we expect that we started to believe buddhism at least from thousands of years ago.
3.
I remember.
4.
It was my first visit to temple.
"Who are they?" I asked.
"Their different shapes of Buddha."
"Different...Buddha?"
"Yes. Suengchan, Look at the man in the middle, we call him, 'Gwan sae um bosal'. He is in charge of 'present moment'."
Nod.
"The two men sitting side of him, we call them each 'Mi reuk bosal' and 'Ji jang bosal'. The former buddha will come to us in future and Ji jang bosal takes care of us after death; in the hell."
"Hell?"
5.
The metaphysical notion called god is flexible.
god is in Van Gogh. god is in the Beatles. god is in a pencil.
But the God, physical notion is un-flexible.
It hasn't changed and it won't be changed.
6.
"Yes. We believe that when we die, we go to hell."
"Why?"
"In the hell, we are punished by great kings, depends on what we did in our life. And Ji jang bosal is the king of ten kings in the hell."
"He is scary."
"No, actually not."
I looked up and say.
"He punishes us!"
"He can't decide whether we get punished or not. It depends on us, as I mentioned."
"He can't decides it?"
"Yes. And he feels our pain of punishment together in the hell."
7.
I'm walking around a ball.
I started on the ball, I will meet the finale on the ball. I will start again on another ball. May be a fly ball, may be a cow ball, may be a human ball.
I'm walking around a ball.
8.
"Why?"
"He wants to save us and feels pity about us.
Actually, it's same to the case of Gwan Sae Um Bosal and Mi Ruk Bo Sal. They want to relief us, but they only can tell us how can we go to the Land of Happiness, and be born again in good environment in next life"
9.
They're walking on the line.
They started on the line. They will meet the finale on the line.
But they do not came back.
They won't come back.
10.
"You mean, they can't do anything? Something like miracle?"
"Yes."
"Anything like curing others?"
'No."
"Then they aren't God!"
11.
I believe Buddha.
12.
They adore God,
13.
This is what I am.
14.
A walker on the ball.
A Buddhist Atheist.
